I wish i was in the wii world.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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