I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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