At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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