clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
