you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
