she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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