Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
