Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
