just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
