Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
