I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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