I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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