I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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