worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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