belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
