He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
