YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
