This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
