Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
