yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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