Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
