i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
