I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
