I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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