found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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