I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
