I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
