This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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