I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
