I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
