Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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