Cold hands, warm shart.
Sry I called you an 8
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
