so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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