Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have fence marks all over my body
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
