He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
