he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nutella sex= disaster
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
