Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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