3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
