she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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