DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
