We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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