How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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