I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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