at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
