He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
