nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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