I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
