it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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