He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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