Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
