my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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