white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
