The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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