somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
