we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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