And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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