haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
