rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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