Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now

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(513): View more from Ohio

it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

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(817): View more from Texas

You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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(631): View more from New York

She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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(303): View more from Colorado

conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex

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