didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
