i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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