We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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